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Character

“You’re not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can’t face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it.” ~Malcolm X

“Cowardice asks the question, ‘Is it safe?’ Expediency asks the question, ‘Is it politic?’ Vanity asks the question, ‘Is it popular?’ But, conscience asks the question, ‘Is it right?’ And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but one must take it because one’s conscience tells one that it is right.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Remember when you were a little kid?  You really and truly knew and deeply understood right from wrong.  Somewhere along the line, your experiences, parents, education and biases took hold.  But for a brief and shining moment, you were a GENUINE person: completely unconcerned with the opinion of the world. You knew, in your heart of hearts, that ALL people matter. Most of you were conditioned through traditional education to dispel this truth. Yet YOU, yes you, have always known that there is more to this world than what you have been taught in your little world or in school.  You want to make a difference, but you don’t know how, or have been discouraged from doing so in the past.  Well, stick out your tongue and tell the world, “I’m a speck, but you WILL feel my power!

I am but a speck on the time line of humanity. Humbling, to say the least.  But lately I’ve been wondering, what should I be doing with this morsel of time I’ve been allotted…never knowing when I shall be recalled.  Am I honoring my briefest of moments in a manner worthy of the opportunity?

I recall a course from college. I was not taking it seriously for various reasons. I did not find my professor “worthy” of his title (my chutzpah had many sources). The assignment I recall was after our reading of By Any Means Necessary, by Malcolm X.  We were put into groups, required to give a presentation.  At the time, I was experiencing some personal difficulties and did not have the time nor desire to meet with my group.  Needless to say, they quickly labeled me a slacker. I attended the “you have to attend this meeting or we will kill you” meetings in preparation for our presentation, but no other.

On the day of our presentation, my group looked at me with hostility.  My thought: “You just completed an assignment. Booyah for you.”  There were four students per group, and my group told me I’d be last, summarizing their major points.  In my estimation, they figured I’d listen to their presentations and have the wherewithal to put their effort into summary formation.  Chutzpah or not, as I listened I considered their one-sided, upper-middle class bias of a tremendous human being who lost his life for standing up for humanity.  They were giving a book report. His “speck” deserved so much more.

My turn. I compared the writings, speeches and approach taken by Malcolm X to that of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  They were each brilliant, courageous, resolute, bold-spirited and valiant beyond words.  Their stance was different, but their message was similar.  My group was astounded.  How dare I change the assignment!  This was not a comparison between two leaders.  Martin Luther King, Jr wasn’t even mentioned in the syllabus.  Oh the humanity!

I didn’t care.  How can you talk about one without the other? Education should make you THINK, not make you a robot. My goal was to compare the diverse approaches to leadership, to social inequities, to blatant racism and pure ignorance. I could give a flying “F” about a book report.  I lived in Detroit in the late ’60′s and early 70′s. MEMORY:  A young black man being chained to a street sign, beaten by a group of white teenagers.  I was six years old as my parents took action. How could I not comprehend the need for differing approaches to leadership by the time I was a junior in college?! To note, none of my group members complained when we received the highest grade for stepping “outside the confines of the assignment.”

Leadership platitudes are nice, comfy and easy to retweet.  But pathetic little me wants more.  I cannot stand in the shadow of the character, wisdom or fortitude of the leaders that stood before me…marking their place in history, paving a road I am honored to travel upon. I am not worthy of their mark in history.  However, I’ll be damned if I don’t take their lead and stand up for equity despite it’s unpopularity.

Kelly and I founded this company to challenge the status quo, to do the right thing when it’s the right thing to do and to never back down in the face of adversity.  Look around my friends…adversity is blossoming. People are suffering. Propaganda is flourishing.  I’m one small voice, one speck, please…PLEASE, tell us what you are willing to do to extend yourself to others, to lessen their burden, to become a light in the darkness.  Opinions make a lovely garden…facts make a sustainable world. Care to raise your glass and make your own toast to courage?

Peace, Jen

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Respect THIS.

by Jen Kuhn on October 25, 2010

Self-absorbed leaders of the world: You are done.  Over-cooked. Fried. Put a fork in yourself.  Or, please, seriously, please, let me. 

Just this weekend I heard a supposed “leader” DEMAND respect from his “subordinate”! *Eavesdrop moment*: “You must respect me! I am your BOSS.” The demand was based solely upon TITLE.  Seriously?  That works for you?  Excuse me while I throw up a little in my mouth.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T!  Find out what it means to me!

Let’s start with:

Behaviors: Don’t say one thing and live/do another. Your title can sit in the bottom of my toilet…with the rest of the sh-tuff.  EARN respect.

Attitude: Ummm, nursery rhymes have a “king of the castle”.  Move on, please. EARN respect.

Fear: You may be the big dog, but you ain’t the only dog.  By the way, you might want to wipe that drool, you’re starting to froth at the mouth. EARN respect.

Ultimatums: Trump! You lose! Play that big card and wait til you see what I’ve been holding.  Don’t ever mistake my compassion for weakness. EARN respect.

Duplicity: If you choose to live without integrity, don’t expect me to follow along.  You are so FLAGRANT you’re see-through.  EARN respect.

If you must demand respect, you have NOT earned respect.  Get a clue.  See a therapist.  Or, could you just this once, for old times sake, be self-reflective? Nah, see a therapist.  Who are we kidding here?  If you think your title/name/job/status/etc EARNS you respect, then you need to start over.  Way over. If you don’t know what I’m saying, then this probably applies to YOU!

Blind compliance brings abuse of power, genocide, terrorism, ignorance, enabling, fear, corruption and all sorts of nastiness.  If you CANNOT or CHOOSE NOT to lead with integrity, compassion, morality, nobility, honesty, gentleness, understanding, empathy, sincerity, transparency, insight, wisdom, peace, courage, dignity,  perception and acceptance…THEN PLEASE, step down.  Accept who you are, and move along.  We NEED more.  We do NOT judge.  We just know what we NEED.

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13 Steps

by Jen Kuhn on October 22, 2010

Sometimes, doing the right thing or making a difference requires amazing courage and presence of mind.  I think of Martin Luther King, Jr., Rosa Parks, Eleanor Roosevelt, Mahatma Gandhi.  Clearly, there are many more.  These people come to mind based upon my world view, upbringing, education and life experiences.    I’m certain these elements serve as the foundation for most people as they determine people they admire.

There are others who never make the news or a “substantial” mark in history who also do the right thing and make a difference.  Through small acts of kindness, integrity, altruistic behaviors and sacrifice they impact the world.

I was speaking with my mom about some of her high school students.  She teaches a course on Social Justice.  She mentioned to each of her classes that a local food pantry needed some evening volunteers to carry bags of food up a flight of stairs: 13 steps.  The need presented itself because most of the volunteers filling the bags are senior citizens, and though they are able to carry the bags up the steps, it would make a difference to have some assistance.

The students understood the need.  Several volunteered immediately, writing their names on the sign-up sheet.  Yet there was a pattern.  Most Friday nights remained empty on the sheet.  Ah, teenagers.  Friday night is high school football games, parties and social mayhem at it’s best!

My mom understood and was simply impressed with the students who volunteered for any night.  Their willingness to make a sacrifice during the stereotypical age of self-absorption was not lost on her.  She does not buy into the stereotype and is frequently in her students’ awe.  She was proud of them for volunteering.  By the end of the day, more students walked into her class to sign up…and the Friday night slots were filled.  13 steps.

13 steps may not seem like much, but it will make a world of difference.  Are you willing to take 13 steps?  Where will they take you?

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Everything Matters

by Jen Kuhn on July 1, 2010

“The act of acting morally is behaving as if everything we do matters.” ~Gloria Steinem

Really?  Does everything I do matter? Let’s assume this to be true.  Wow.  That’s difficult to conceive.  Everything I do matters.  Following that argument, then let’s say everything you do matters.  Everything everyone does matters.  Hold your horses, this is crazy talk!  How can everything matter?!  Well, let’s think about it.

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What would the world be like if the following people lived their lives wholeheartedly believing that everything they do matters?

  • BP executives
  • Parents
  • Politicians of any party
  • Teachers
  • Doctors
  • Neighbors
  • Managers, CEO’s and the leadership of any organization
  • Lawyers
  • Janitors
  • Consultants
  • Retail sales associates
  • Nurses
  • Construction workers
  • Psychologists
  • Students
  • Police Officers
  • Customer service reps
  • Writers
  • Financial analysts
  • Office workers
  • Business owners
  • Marketers
  • you get the idea…

What you do for a living is far less important than how you do it.  Today, tomorrow, forever, lead your life knowing that everything you do matters.  Would anything be different?  What would you change?  We’d love to hear your thoughts…because they matter.


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An Olympic Experience in Character

by Kelly Ketelboeter on February 28, 2010

I have always loved the Olympics.  From summer to winter, every two years I tune in to watch amazing athletes push themselves to achieve their dreams.   As the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver come to a close today I can’t help but think of all the wonderful stories we have heard, the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  Ordinary people achieving extraordinary results.  Competing with injuries, broken hearts, hopes, dreams and passion.

Each story I heard revealed what I believe it truly means to be a person of character.  I have spent a lot of time thinking and talking about Character Based Leadership as part of the Lead Change community on LinkedIn and Twitter.  What does it mean to be a person of character?  What does it mean to be a character based leader?  I can’t help but see the attributes of what it truly means to be a person of character in the Olympic Athletes.

A person of character makes a Commitment.

Every athlete made a commitment many years ago to their craft, to their practice, to their fans, to their coach and to their country.  You can see that commitment as they practice and compete. You can hear their commitment in the interviews they do.  You have to start with a commitment in order to achieve extraordinary results.  What commitment are you willing to make?

A person of character has Passion.

The athletes have practiced for years, months, weeks, hours on end, all in pursuit of their passion.  Passion is what keeps the fire burning.  Passion is what gets you out of bed every day.  Passion is what allows ordinary people to achieve extraordinary results.

A person of character Perseveres.

I can’t help but think of Lindsey Vonn when I think of perseverance.  Lindsey has a list of injuries almost as long as the ski run she faced each day.  Yet she didn’t let that stop her.  She kept going, pushing through the pain in pursuit of the ultimate prize.  Her perseverance paid off and she took home the Gold Medal.  You see the ice skaters miss a triple lutz and fall.  That doesn’t stop them.  They get back up and keep going.  Sometimes in life you are going to hurt.  Sometimes in life you are going to fall.  What matters most is how you persevere and rise to the challenge in pursuit of your purpose.

A person of character is Disciplined.

Olympic athletes are extremely disciplined.  They know they have to practice.  They know they have to workout.  They know they have to eat right.  They know they have to take care of themselves.  And they do.  They have realized the payoff of being disciplined leads to better results.  When it comes to leadership are you taking a disciplined approach to your purpose?

A person of character is Open to Feedback.

Every time an Olympic athlete performs they receive feedback.  Feedback from coaches, from judges, from family and from the media.  Whether they want it or not, they use that feedback to fuel future performance.  The athletes know they can’t take that feedback personally.  They realize the intention of the feedback is to help them and make them stronger.  The athletes actually take the feedback and incorporate into their routine, their run or their game.  We need feedback from others if we want to improve.  The key is openly receiving feedback and doing something with it.  You may not always like the feedback but you have to know it will help you in fulfilling your purpose.

A person of character puts forth an unwavering Effort.

Olympic athletes know that they have to put forth unwavering effort everyday in pursuit of their dream.  If they give up for one day, the competition may pass them by.  The athletes sacrifice time with family and friends.  They rise early and work hard.  They are constantly thinking about their routine, the next jump, the next run, the next game.  They are putting forth effort every minute of everyday knowing just how important it is to achieving their goals.  What if as leaders we put forth that same kind of effort?  If we never took our eye of our vision, our mission, our purpose?  If we helped our employees and ourselves everyday and invested the effort it takes to accomplish our goals?

This list is just a start in defining the attributes for what I believe it takes to be a person of character.  I know there are many more and I would love to hear your thoughts.  Above all, I encourage you to review the list and honestly ask yourself how do I display these attributes in my character?  What do I do that reflects these attributes?  Or maybe what can I do to ensure my character reflects these attributes?

We are all a work in progress.  Embrace and celebrate your character that is helping you fulfill and live your purpose.  Recognize and work towards those things that will help you fully live your purpose and let your character shine.

Join the discussion on Character Based Leadership with the Lead Change Group on LinkedIn.  We would love for you to participate! http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=1875191&trk=hb_side_g

Or follow the conversation on Twitter by searching #Leadchange

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