I had the honor and privilege of attending my niece’s college graduation at Eureka College. Graduating college is such a important moment in our lives. It symbolizes our transition to the next phase of our life to the “real world.” As one chapter closes another one begins. Graduation day is full of mixed emotions. From happiness, to excitement, to fear, to sadness, to hope and everything in between. Not only for the graduates but for their families as well!
I have to admit, going to a college Commencement isn’t exactly at the top of my list for weekend fun. So I was pleasantly surprised when I actually enjoyed the ceremony and was on the edge of my seat. It could have been the 45 degree temperatures during the outdoor ceremony that had me on the edge of my seat. Or maybe it was the wonderful comfortable blue plastic chairs. Or the fact that I drank 32 ounces of diet coke before settling into the almost 2 hour ceremony. But the truth is that the symbolism that was weaved throughout the ceremony and the amazing speakers, was what actually had me on the edge of the blue plastic seat, in the freezing cold.
Dr. Edward F. Diener, Senior Scientist on the Science Advisory Council for Gallup Research and a professor at the University of Illinois, was the special speaker for the day. And he was amazing! As a leader of the Positive Psychology movement he has changed the way of thinking in psychology. Dr. Diener has done comprehensive research in the area of happiness. He has run countless studies over 30 years to discover what creates happiness in our lives. In his talk, he shared three key habits of happiness with the graduates that would lead to a fulfilled life.
1. Close Relationships
Dr. Diener stressed the importance of maintaining and nurturing close relationships. Relationships where you give more than you take. Relationships where you recognize the strengths in others, value them and their contributions. Relationships that are loving and caring and honest. He talked about saying thank you and making sure we honor the close relationships we have and welcome new relationships with open arms.
Relationships keep us connected. I couldn’t help but reminisce about the important relationships in my life. From my family to my friends to co-workers, partners, mentors, clients and the wonderful relationships I have formed through Twitter, yes Twitter! The opportunity to form close relationships is around us everyday. The question is do you take the time and the opportunity to develop those relationships. Think about the relationships you have. What makes them special? How do you give more than you take? How do you nurture these relationships?
2. The second habit of happiness that Dr. Diener talked about was finding meaning and purpose in your life. The key to this habit is caring about something bigger than yourself. Get involved in your community. Find a cause that taps into your purpose and your passion. Engage to make a difference. People that connect their meaning and purpose in more than one area of their life will be happier. It may take some time to truly know and understand your meaning and purpose. The best way to discover it is by getting involved. Don’t sit on the sidelines, get in the game. Don’t wish upon a star, make it happen. Try new things and don’t get discouraged. Find the lesson and carry it with you. What’s your meaning and purpose? How do you tap into it? What do you care about?
3. Dr. Diener pointed out that finding work that you love and doing what you are naturally good at will bring happiness. Are you working for a paycheck? Or do you seek work that adds to your meaning and purpose? Finding what you love and doing what you are good at may take some trial and error. Stay the course until you unlock your passion. Focus on your strengths. Leverage those strengths in your work and in your life. When you can do things that you love you will be engaged, having fun and making a difference. I recently learned more about this aspect from Dr. Anne Perschel in her work-life flow series as part of the movement to Fix the Hole in the Corporate Soul. She suggests that by tapping into your essence you will unleash your passion and you will achieve a state flow. Where you are so engrossed in what you are doing because you love what you are doing. When you can achieve this level of work-life flow you will have happiness. What are you good at? What do you love? How do you bring that into your life and your work?
As I listened to Dr. Diener, I thought about my own personal happiness. I wondered if I had heard his speech when I was graduating college if I would have been ready to really listen and hear the wisdom in his words. I wondered how many of the graduates actually heard his powerful message. We spend endless hours and invest money trying to find happiness. What we must realize is that happiness comes from within. Have you discovered your happiness?
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Hi, Kelly!
An excellent and thought-proviking post, as always. I am envious of your experience, it sounds like I would have enjoyued Dr. Diener’s speech, too.
The three points you emphasize say a lot to me about the things that should be paid attention to when attempting build a culture within the workplace. What things make people feel appreciated and provide an environment where they are willing to do their best every day? Is it strictly professional relationships, collecting a paycheck, and doing rote tasks, or is it a sense of community, personal fulfillment, and the opportunity to experiment and create?
I think those three criteria you mention are definitely the keys to personal happiness. Imagine if they were promoted in the environment, too! I think there’s a lot to be learned here about the types of situations we should try to create for people in order to keep them happy, fulfilled, and productive.
My head’s full of ideas now – this is definitely good food for thought! Thanks!
Hi David,
I always appreciate your keen insights! What an amazing work environment it would be if the culture supported and encouraged happiness at work. What would it be like if leaders encouraged strong relationships among their team members? What impact would it have if organizations tapped into their employees meaning and purpose and connected it to their work? How can organizations leverage what people are naturally good at? All great questions to ponder. Like you I believe in the true power of happiness and by asking these questions plus the ones you noted above will unlock the true potential of an organization.
I am thrilled the post resonated with you and spurred on additional ideas! Thanks for sharing.
Best to you,
Kelly
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