The Experience Factor — Creating extraordinary experiences one person at a time

Combat Gear, Attack Plans and the Unhappy Customer

by Kelly Ketelboeter on July 20, 2010

Have you ever felt like you have to put on full combat gear and map out a plan of attack just to deal with someone in customer service? Please tell me I’m not the only one!

Last week we took our car to the dealership because we had an issue. An issue that is still covered by our warranty. Imagine that! The dealership sent us to the body shop for them to take a look at our car. The guy at the body shop was less than personable. He checked out our car and proceeded to tell us that it had already been repainted. I was completely confused since we bought our car new (not the wisest investment I know!) with only 4 miles on it. And we put those 4 miles on it during the test drive. When we questioned the expert on his assessment he just kept chanting the same line over and over again…

“It’s not up to me. I just check out the car, tell the dealership what I see and they decide what to do. This car has been repainted and that’s what I plan on telling them.”

Not once did the gentlemen actually recognize our real concern. It wasn’t if the dealership was going to take care of our problem under our warranty, it was understanding how a car with 4 miles on it could have been repainted. We’ve never been in an accident (knock on wood), we have never had it painted and we are the only owner. Even after expressing our concern he just kept repeating the same line. He did expand on his chant only to tell us he had been doing this for 40 years and knows when something has been repainted. I wasn’t questioning his expertise or the fact that the car had been repainted. I wanted to know how this could possibly happen!

The minute we got home we started to do some research. We found out that there are several hundred other owners with the same car, the same year, that had the same problem. We printed pages and pages of information ready to go into battle when the dealership called. I had my weapons drawn, my armor on and my war plan in hand. All of this could have been avoided if the body shop guy would have just taken the time to understand us and our concerns.

I realize the body shop couldn’t solve our problem. We weren’t expecting them to. Regardless of who’s at fault or whether or not you can solve the problem there’s an opportunity here to create a positive experience and diffuse a potential battle with these 4 simple steps.

1. Listen.

The key here is not to interrupt when the customer is talking and not to jump to any conclusions. You also want to make sure you give the customer your full attention. Avoid thinking about what your going to say next. And definitely avoid drawing your weapons! Focus on what the customer is saying, what’s happened, how they are feeling and what they want. Ask yourself, “what is the customers true concern?” Don’t just take a guess at what you think it is or you won’t satisfy your customers needs.

2. Empathize.

We bought our very first new car with only 4 miles on it. Did I tell you that already? It would have been nice to hear something along these lines, “It’s definitely disappointing to find out your brand new car was repainted.” Why yes it is! Empathy will help to diffuse emotion and it shows the customer that you were in fact listening and understand how they are feeling. When there’s a problem realize that customers are not logical beings. We are emotional. So recognize that emotion. How would you feel? What would you want to hear?

3. Apologize.

Often times you probably didn’t create the problem the customer is having. All the same an apology can go a long way in building good karma with your customer. Apologizing doesn’t mean you agree with the customer. It’s just a simple statement. Again it will help to diffuse emotion and increase logic.

4. Educate.

As I stood there in the body shop in disbelief I wanted to know how on earth a brand new car had already been repainted when we didn’t repaint it. Help me understand. All it would have taken is for the service rep to tell us how this could have possibly happened. Come to find out, after our own research, sometimes cars get damaged in transport to the dealership. Sometimes they get damaged on the lot. And sometimes that’s just how the car was built and painted originally. Who knew? Certainly not me. I am sure that the service rep did know though. Because when we came back to drop off our car, he explained that. A little too late if you ask me. There are things about your business that you know that the average customer doesn’t know. Don’t quote policy. But instead educate and explain the possibilities. Not only will it save you a headache later on it will also build good will with your customer.

I am happy to say that the dealership did take care of our problem at no cost to us. I put on my combat gear for nothing! I did second guess our original purchase and for the first time in 3 years experienced buyers remorse. I also said to my friends and family that we would never buy a Dodge again or anything from that dealership. It wouldn’t have taken much for this to be a non-event for us. If only the service rep had these 4 tips.

What would you add? What’s been your experience as an upset customer? What’s been your experience in dealing with an upset customer? We would love to hear your story and what’s worked for you.

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The Apple iPhone 4 has a Death Grip on YOU

by Jen Kuhn on July 14, 2010

If you own an Apple iPhone 4, I give you my condolences. Right now, Apple has you in a consumer death grip. The problem as you know, is that the antennae on the phone causes dropped calls when the user holds the phone a certain way (umm, the way you hold a phone in order to speak). And you know Steve Job’s solution: “Just avoid holding it that way.” Another solution offered has been for you, the consumer, to purchase a case from Apple that prevents the dropped calls. Wow. What a concept. I’ll give you a faulty product so you can purchase more of my products to fix my mistake. Genius I tell ya’. OR, you could use duct tape. Cuh-lassy. OR, Apple could recall a product that they spent more time hyping than researching.

Is it too much to ask for no glitches in a product that millions of people purchased? I don’t think so. When Apple creates hype that is surreal, I expect the same from the product. What do you think, Consumer?

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Internet and iPhone and Blackberry, Oh MY!

by Jen Kuhn on July 8, 2010

In this age of technology, I often wonder whether or not we are too connected. Gone are the days when we each had a level of anonymity or uninterrupted time to ourselves. Today we have the ability to stay in touch with everyone, at any moment. *Cue flushing toilet*

Has our ability to stay connected surpassed our ability to handle the technology? Have employees become more productive as a result of having so much technology at their fingertips? *Cue texting* Have leaders become more effective as a result of being able to check their email, voice mail, texts and status updates at any time, in any place? *Cue small child, “Mom, mom, mom, ma, mom, mom, mommy, ma, ma…* Is it a better work environment knowing that you can be contacted 24/7? *Cue beach sounds as you “enjoy” your vacation* Have we learned to use technology to benefit our environment, or has technology made us a bunch of jack of all trades, giving full attention to none?

I give you Exhibit A:

What would happen if you turned off technology for two (waking) hours a day?

We would love to hear your opinions on how technology has impacted your professional performance and effectiveness. And out of curiosity, how many of you were reading this while doing something else (like attending a meeting, watching TV, nursing a baby)?

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Everything Matters

by Jen Kuhn on July 1, 2010

“The act of acting morally is behaving as if everything we do matters.” ~Gloria Steinem

Really? Does everything I do matter? Let’s assume this to be true. Wow. That’s difficult to conceive. Everything I do matters. Following that argument, then let’s say everything you do matters. Everything everyone does matters. Hold your horses, this is crazy talk! How can everything matter?! Well, let’s think about it.

What would the world be like if the following people lived their lives wholeheartedly believing that everything they do matters?

BP executives
Parents
Politicians of any party
Teachers
Doctors
Neighbors
Managers, CEO’s and the leadership of any organization
Lawyers
Janitors
Consultants
Retail sales associates
Nurses
Construction workers
Psychologists
Students
Police Officers
Customer service reps
Writers
Financial analysts
Office workers
Business owners
Marketers
you get the idea…

What you do for a living is far less important than how you do it. Today, tomorrow, forever, lead your life knowing that everything you do matters. Would anything be different? What would you change? We’d love to hear your thoughts…because they matter.

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8 Steps to Take Before You “Whack” That Employee

by Kelly Ketelboeter on June 29, 2010

It's not that easy!

The time has come. There’s no more denying it. You have put up with it for way too long. It’s finally starting to hurt your team, your results and your customers. You have finally come to the conclusion that holding out hope is a fruitless process. It’s time to…GULP… fire that under-performing employee and get rid of your problems once and for all!

Before you can “whack” Suzy Q you head to HR, as every good manager does. And the conversation probably goes a little something like this…

HR has thrown a flag on your play to have Suzy Q removed. You realize you have to go back and put up with her for at least another 30 days. A lot of managers have found themselves in this same predicament at one time or another. You want Suzy Q off your team. You have put up with her for long enough. And while that may be true, you need to show that you have given Suzy Q every opportunity to turn her performance and behavior around. After all, its only fair to give Suzy Q that chance.

Many managers have a tendency to ignore poor performance. Sometimes they do it because of excellent performance in another other area. Sometimes they do it because they don’t want to confront the employee. Sometimes they do it because the don’t know what to do or how to do it. And sometimes they do it because dealing with a poor performer is better than dealing with no one at all.

When we ignore poor performance we are actually endorsing that performance. We are telling that employee and others on our team that level of performance is acceptable. The minute you see performance starting to slip you owe it to your employee, yourself and your team to take the necessary steps to turn it around. So what do you do? Well the following coaching behaviors are a good place to start. You can use any of these skills or a combination of these skills. When it comes to coaching a one size fits all approach won’t work. The key is to start somewhere.

1. Reiterate the expectation.

Before you can address a performance problem you must make sure the employee actually knows the expectation. When discussing the expectation with the employee, talk about the behaviors that are necessary to meet or exceed the expectation. HR wants to know that this step has been accomplished before the “whacking” can begin.

2. Focus on behavior.

Now that you have reiterated the expectation and discussed appropriate behaviors, you want to look for the absence or presence of those behaviors. The key here is to focus on what you see the employee doing or not doing in regards to the expectations, not the person.

3. Point out the positive.

When you see or hear the employee meeting or exceeding the expectation, let them know. People learn what to do and what a good job looks like when they receive positive reinforcement. When pointing out the positive be sure to be specific, focus on the behaviors and then discuss the impact of those behaviors.

4. Set goals.

Goal setting is a powerful way to include the employee in the process of fixing the problem. After all you aren’t the one with the problem, the employee is. And you can’t fix it, the employee has to. Follow the SMART goal setting process for the expectations or goals that the employee is not meeting. Make sure the employee develops a specific action plan and discuss what you will do to support them.

5. Celebrate progress.

Even if the employee hasn’t achieved the goals or met the expectation yet, don’t wait to give them feedback. Celebrate the progress, they are making towards the goals and exceeding the expectations. This will add fuel to their fire. Don’t wait for perfection.

6. Coach them on the fly.

Some of us are guilty of having a meeting, setting goals with an employee and then putting it to the side for the 30 or 60 day waiting period. Well, out of sight, out of mind. You have got to follow-up with that employee. You can coach them on the fly in 2 – 5 minutes. Focus your coaching questions around their goals. Discuss what’s working for them, what challenges they are faced with and what they will do to address those challenges. Help the employee discover what they need to do for themselves.

7. Have a coaching intervention.

A coaching intervention is something you want to do before the verbal and written warnings. Not only do you want to give the employee a chance to change their behavior, you also want to show HR you have taken the necessary steps to address the performance. A coaching intervention is a formal meeting to reiterate the expectations, focus on the behavior, outline the consequences and develop an action plan. That way when you get to the verbal warning it won’t be a surprise to the employee. It also makes that process so much easier because you have already done most of the work. Often times I have found that I didn’t even need to escalate things to a verbal warning. Some people just need to know the consequences of their behavior and that they will in fact be held accountable.

8. Hold them accountable.

I love that old saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink the water.” Or something like that. As a coach, there is only so much you can do to help your employees performance. Ultimately you must hold them accountable for that performance and their choices. This means pointing out the positive if they are making progress towards or have achieved their goals and setting new goals. It also means taking the next step in your progressive disciplinary process if the behavior has not changed.

Don’t wait for that last straw that breaks the camels back. Coach your employees every day. Have honest conversations about their performance. Help them see and achieve their potential. Most of all, be prepared the next time you go to HR and show them that you have done everything you can to help Suzy Q. And go to sleep at night knowing that ultimately, it’s up to Suzy Q if she wants the job or not.

What other advice would you give a manager before they can “whack” that employee? We would love to hear from you!

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Twitter, LinkedIn and Lead Change

by Kelly Ketelboeter on June 22, 2010

It was January 2009 when I entered the world of Twitter. I was not convinced of its value, unsure how it really worked and wondered who on earth would want to follow me?! I checked out all the Twitter resources on how to contribute, how to gain followers and basic Twitter etiquette. Everyday I learned something new, connected with amazing people and began to see the value of Twitter. Of course I became a bit obsessed with reaching 100 followers and then 500 and then 1,000 and now I don’t even keep track. In the beginning I had to force myself to tweet 3 times a day. Now I am a tweeting fool. I hate missing a day on Twitter. It’s a chance to exchange information, learn from others, make new contacts and friends, yes friends.

Early on in my tweeting I followed Mike Henry Sr. What struck me about Mike was his willingness to connect, share and encourage. So when Mike started tweeting about the Lead Change Group he started on LinkedIn, I jumped at the opportunity to become part of the community dedicated to leading change. The Lead Change Group is a community of amazing people applying character-based leadership to make a positive difference. The purpose of the group resonated with me. For me, it started on Twitter, crossed over to LinkedIn and has continued to grow. The Lead Change is the most active community I am a part of. The members of the group support each other, contribute to each others success and most importantly they lead by example for character-based leadership.

I have the honor of co-hosting monthly Lead Change webinars with Mike Henry Sr. The purpose of the monthly Lead Change webinars is to showcase our members talents and their work. They share research, key note speeches, training and experiences all based on leading change. Through these calls I have met some unbelievable folks, learned so much and have a renewed hope that true leaders do exist. The monthly webinars was just the start of bringing the Lead Change community together. In February, several members of the group met in Florida for LeaderPalooza. Mike has started hosting a weekly BlogTalkRadio book review show. He has also started the Lead Change Roundtables. Of course LinkedIn is always lively with discussions, questions and news posts. This week Mike is kicking off a new BlogTalkRadio show to showcase and highlight Lead Change group members. I am thrilled to announce that I will be the first guest interview!! I hope you will join us this Thursday, June 24 at 3 pm Eastern. Get the details here.

The moral of the story, is you never know the true value of something until you try, participate and add value. If I had let my lack of knowledge and understanding for Twitter stop me from using this awesome social media tool I would have never met Mike Henry Sr. or any of the other Lead Change Group members. I would not have been afforded the opportunity to learn, contribute and share. I continue to be inspired by the Lead Change community and the group has given me way more than I have given them. While you may not see the value at the time, my advice, give it a chance, you never know what you might find. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose!

How have you used Twitter or LinkedIn to develop relationships, learn and contribute?

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Three Ingredients for Championship Success

by Kelly Ketelboeter on June 10, 2010

Blackhawks win!!! And the city of Chicago is all a buzz with the Stanley Cup Championship title coming back home after a long 49 year drought. What an amazing year, an unbelievable playoff season and a remarkable final round on the road to the Stanley Cup. How did the Blackhawks with such a young team take the ice by storm?

It started 3 years ago, with a changing of the guard in management. Owner, Rocky Wirtz took over the Blackhawks in 2007 from his father Bill Wirtz and the organization hasn’t been the same since. And Blackhawk fans couldn’t be happier. There are many factors that led the Blackhawks to their much anticipated and awaited championship debut. Rocky Wirtz made some tough decisions, albeit good decisions, in tough economic times. He is a true leader, unafraid to challenge the status quo, shake things up and make things happen. There are 3 critical factors that I believe led the Blackhawks to their 2010 Stanley Cup Championship season.

1. Clear vision.

When Rocky Wirtz took over he started with a clear vision for his team. It was simple, it made sense and it was something that everyone, fans included could rally around. One Goal. That was it, One Goal. The One Goal for the Blackhawks was to win the coveted Stanley Cup. He set the vision and from there together with his amazing staff went to work.

Every organization needs a clear vision. One that employees, customers, shareholders and executives can wrap their arms around. One that resonates and gives purpose and meaning to their work. One that isn’t 2 paragraphs long. One that can be repeated and will be the mantra for all that you do. What’s your vision? Do your employees know and understand the vision?

2. A Plan

Having a clear vision is the start of success, it certainly won’t get you there without a plan. Rocky Wirtz knew he had to win back the fans of Chicago, a once thriving and passionate hockey town. Together with his team they developed a comprehensive plan to achieve the vision of One Goal. This included mass media attention, televising every home game (televised home games were banned by Bill Wirtz), taking advantage of free agents, hiring the best of the best, identifying young stars, hosting the Winter Classic and much, much more. The Blackhawks had a vision and now they had a plan and they worked their plan everyday.

Every wise business leader knows they must have a plan. Things don’t just fall into place. Often times though management is distracted by other things that take them away from their plan and ultimately their vision. In order to achieve success, you must plan for success. What’s your plan? How often do you work your plan? Does your team know and understand your plan? Do all your decisions revolve around plan?

3. An Unbelievable Team

Blackhawks management worked hard to acquire star players. They identified up and coming talent and secured experienced veteran players. Bringing together talent is one aspect of a winning team, the other is getting them to work together. The coaching staff tapped into the strengths and natural talents of their players. The Blackhawks had a deep bench of talent. Each player complimenting the other players talents. They won as a team, they lost as team. And they all have an enormous amount of respect for each other. The have fun together with their Wii tournaments on the road, sharing rooms, taping commercials and supporting each other through ups and downs. They are friends and brothers in hockey together. Each player understands their role on the team, they worked tirelessly to perfect their talents and everyone knew exactly what was expected from them and the team.

Creating a solid team starts with acquiring top talent. Talent that can and is willing to help you achieve your vision and your plan. In order to achieve success, realize it takes more than one or two people. Organizations are best served by tapping into the strengths of their team members, exploiting those strengths and respecting those strengths. Having fun at work is also critical to building a well oiled team. What are you doing to foster team spirit and team work? Who are you hiring? How are you building a team that respects one another? Does your team know and understand their role in the organization?

There are many more aspects of leadership that led the Blackhawks to their success. In my mind these three are the foundation from which everything else is built on. What do you think?

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Snapshots of Inspiration

by Jen Kuhn on June 3, 2010

I believe that in order to lead , you must also be able to inspire. Inspiration. When was the last time you were truly inspired? When was the last time you were the source of someones’ inspiration? I don’t believe (completely) in the idea of fate, or the common saying, “it was meant to be”. However, over the past 3 days I’ve received gifts of inspiration when I didn’t expect them. Maybe I received them because I was open to them, or maybe it was just, dare I say it…fate.

Here are 3 examples of inspiration that I’ve encountered in 3 days:

My friends’ son, Jake Berman, is a young man who has completed his first year in college. While visiting their home, he shared his portfolio from a photography class. Whoa. Not only were the pictures breathtaking; his explanation of each shot was profound and poignant. I’ve known Jake since he was a toddler. His insight, compassion and talent have always inspired me (whether it was on the football field, helping a friend, wrestling in a district tournament or having a conversation). I’m confidant that no matter the path he chooses he will one day be a quiet leader, standing up for what’s right and making a difference.

On Twitter I saw a quote posted initially by @LeadToday (aka Steve Keating) that was retweeted by @ndefalco (aka Nicole DeFalco). The quote: “Talk is cheap. Action is priceless.” Simple. It spurred me into action. I had grand plans all day. This simple quote helped me put those plans into action. Then a few hours later, @MarkOOates (aka Mark Oakes) tweeted that he had a peak training session to prepare for a “half Ironman” which included a 1.5 mile swim, 60 mile bike ride and 7 mile run. Someone buy this man a CAR! Who does all that in one day? Again, I was inspired. I laced up my jogging shoes and went for a run. For the record, I jogged just a bit more than he swam. I didn’t want to show him up. I’m cool like that. These people lead by wisdom and example.

On Facebook, a friend posted this video. If you do not give this video 4 minutes of your attention it will be your complete loss. I will let it speak for itself.

What are you doing to inspire others? Where have you found inspiration in unlikely places? How do you incorporate inspiration into your leadership behaviors? We would love to hear your thoughts on inspiration as an element of leadership and as one of the gifts of life.

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Leadership Lessons from the Garden

by Kelly Ketelboeter on May 20, 2010

One of my great joys in life is gardening. I anxiously await spring each year and count down the days until I can get outside and play in the dirt! This past weekend I spent 6 long hours in my yard planting bulbs, annuals, hanging baskets and pots. It was so much fun and the weather was perfect! As I spent the entire next day on my couch recovering from all my planting (I am not as young as I used to be!) I started to think about how gardening relates to leadership. Lessons in leadership are literally all around us.

1. Preparation is key.

This is not my favorite part of gardening but it must be done if you want that beautiful garden. To prepare my garden for the season, I had to clean out all the leaves, sticks, rocks (I have no idea how so many rocks get into my garden) and all the acorn shells our lovely squirrels harvest, hide and eat all winter long. I have to weed, turn the soil, lay down some compost and add some new dirt. All this preparation, I have learned, will pay off in the end.

It reminded me of how leaders must prepare their teams every day. Successful leaders must remove obstacles that stand in the way of accomplishing the goals and strategies of the organization. They must make sure staff is prepared with all the tools they need to accomplish those goals. Leaders must take great care in preparing staff and by doing so, staff will be successful and so will the leader. How do you prepare your team for success? What obstacles have you removed? What obstacles still stand in your way?

2. There’s a lot of trial and error.

We have lived in our current house for almost eight years. It has taken me about that long to determine what type of plants and flowers will grow best in my garden. I have some sunny spots and lots of shady spots. And for some reason these spots tend to shift over the years. I also learned you have to pay attention to when things will bloom, how far apart they need to be planted, how often they need water, how tall they will grow or even how wide they will grow. I had to try certain plants and find what worked for my garden. I discovered just because something worked in someone else’s garden didn’t mean it was going to look the same or work in mine. I have planted things, torn things out, moved things and separated others. I invested a lot of money and effort into my garden and I had to accept the fact that some things would work and some things wouldn’t.

Leadership is not a one size fits all approach. Your managers and your staff require different conditions to enhance, maintain or improve their performance. What worked with one may not work with another. A leader will discover what works through her own trial and error process. Leaders must be open to changing the game plan. They have to recognize what things need to be torn out, what things need to be moved and what things will work. Each leader must design her own leadership compass and leadership approach. Just because it worked for Jack Welch or Vince Lombardi doesn’t mean it will work for you and your conditions. What is the condition of your team? How do you approach each staff member? What have you learned over the years? What works for you? What doesn’t work for you?

3. Continued attention and care are critical.

Just because I prepared my garden, learned what works and planted my spring plants, doesn’t mean I can wash my hands and walk away. I constantly need to monitor my plants and flowers. I must pay attention to when they need water, when I need to fertilize them and when I need to rotate them. I have to continually work to get rid of weeds that are trying to choke out my plants and take over. I have to prune them and remove the dead blooms. And most of all I have to spray everything so the deer won’t treat my yard like a 24 hour smorgasbord. Every day I am in my garden doing something. I learned a long time ago that planting and forgetting won’t turn out prize winning flowers or a garden.

Leaders must also do something everyday to lead their team. They must interact, teach, mentor, communicate and provide necessary feedback. This way the weeds (poor performance) won’t take over. Leaders have to nurture their employees so they can expose their hidden talents. They have shape their employees performance by providing positive reinforcement and taking advantage of teachable moments. Just like a gardener, a leaders job is never finished. What are you doing on a daily basis to lead your team? How do you ensure your team is growing? How often do you interact with your team?

I am sure my list, like my garden, is not complete. What other leadership ideas have you planted? What have you learned you through trial and error? We would love to hear your thoughts!

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The Pursuit of Happiness

by Kelly Ketelboeter on May 14, 2010

I had the honor and privilege of attending my niece’s college graduation at Eureka College. Graduating college is such a important moment in our lives. It symbolizes our transition to the next phase of our life to the “real world.” As one chapter closes another one begins. Graduation day is full of mixed emotions. From happiness, to excitement, to fear, to sadness, to hope and everything in between. Not only for the graduates but for their families as well!

I have to admit, going to a college Commencement isn’t exactly at the top of my list for weekend fun. So I was pleasantly surprised when I actually enjoyed the ceremony and was on the edge of my seat. It could have been the 45 degree temperatures during the outdoor ceremony that had me on the edge of my seat. Or maybe it was the wonderful comfortable blue plastic chairs. Or the fact that I drank 32 ounces of diet coke before settling into the almost 2 hour ceremony. But the truth is that the symbolism that was weaved throughout the ceremony and the amazing speakers, was what actually had me on the edge of the blue plastic seat, in the freezing cold.

Dr. Edward F. Diener, Senior Scientist on the Science Advisory Council for Gallup Research and a professor at the University of Illinois, was the special speaker for the day. And he was amazing! As a leader of the Positive Psychology movement he has changed the way of thinking in psychology. Dr. Diener has done comprehensive research in the area of happiness. He has run countless studies over 30 years to discover what creates happiness in our lives. In his talk, he shared three key habits of happiness with the graduates that would lead to a fulfilled life.

1. Close Relationships

Dr. Diener stressed the importance of maintaining and nurturing close relationships. Relationships where you give more than you take. Relationships where you recognize the strengths in others, value them and their contributions. Relationships that are loving and caring and honest. He talked about saying thank you and making sure we honor the close relationships we have and welcome new relationships with open arms.

Relationships keep us connected. I couldn’t help but reminisce about the important relationships in my life. From my family to my friends to co-workers, partners, mentors, clients and the wonderful relationships I have formed through Twitter, yes Twitter! The opportunity to form close relationships is around us everyday. The question is do you take the time and the opportunity to develop those relationships. Think about the relationships you have. What makes them special? How do you give more than you take? How do you nurture these relationships?

2. The second habit of happiness that Dr. Diener talked about was finding meaning and purpose in your life. The key to this habit is caring about something bigger than yourself. Get involved in your community. Find a cause that taps into your purpose and your passion. Engage to make a difference. People that connect their meaning and purpose in more than one area of their life will be happier. It may take some time to truly know and understand your meaning and purpose. The best way to discover it is by getting involved. Don’t sit on the sidelines, get in the game. Don’t wish upon a star, make it happen. Try new things and don’t get discouraged. Find the lesson and carry it with you. What’s your meaning and purpose? How do you tap into it? What do you care about?

3. Dr. Diener pointed out that finding work that you love and doing what you are naturally good at will bring happiness. Are you working for a paycheck? Or do you seek work that adds to your meaning and purpose? Finding what you love and doing what you are good at may take some trial and error. Stay the course until you unlock your passion. Focus on your strengths. Leverage those strengths in your work and in your life. When you can do things that you love you will be engaged, having fun and making a difference. I recently learned more about this aspect from Dr. Anne Perschel in her work-life flow series as part of the movement to Fix the Hole in the Corporate Soul. She suggests that by tapping into your essence you will unleash your passion and you will achieve a state flow. Where you are so engrossed in what you are doing because you love what you are doing. When you can achieve this level of work-life flow you will have happiness. What are you good at? What do you love? How do you bring that into your life and your work?

As I listened to Dr. Diener, I thought about my own personal happiness. I wondered if I had heard his speech when I was graduating college if I would have been ready to really listen and hear the wisdom in his words. I wondered how many of the graduates actually heard his powerful message. We spend endless hours and invest money trying to find happiness. What we must realize is that happiness comes from within. Have you discovered your happiness?

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